摩天輪@希望。

乘著摩天輪轉到最頂端眺望一片蔚藍天空的感覺，就像用遼闊的視野看著自己的未來與生命一樣，都是難以言喻，無邊無際的感動。把摩天輪設置在部落版頭，每次進入都感動一點，一點一滴累積，生命又是美麗一點。

照片是谷歌捉來的，看了茵那會說話的照片，突然想要一個摩天輪在部落格內。迫不及待捉來這張一看就喜歡的，匆匆給換上來。那天空的陽光，就像一片黑暗中的希望一樣。身置深淵卻仍見希望才教人感動。

我的部落格都是暗暗沉沉的，黑色是我鍾愛的主色。我卻從這色彩中尋找到寧靜與平穩的感覺，文字隨之娓娓流暢道來。黑色不是我的心情，那黑暗之中的一點藍、一點白、甚至一點象徵希望的輝煌，才是我心中的顏色。而黑色的存在，恰恰讓我心中無數的色彩，發揮得淋漓盡致。

週末回家的時候，購物中心遇見7年不見的中學同學蘇海達。我們曾經一同打女英式籃球和排球，當時的情誼還算不錯。只是畢業後，大家都沒有繼續聯絡。

見面第一句，她問我“妳還有在繪畫嗎？還是你已經從事藝術行業了？”嘿，想不到這麼多年，她仍記得我當初對美術的堅持。

憶起往事。

中四那年，根據成績，我被分配到數一數二那“數二”的好班，除了是主修科學，還有數學及會計。但卻沒了我手握多年的畫筆。哀求校長把我給換到第四班去吧，她說“怎麼可以，你的成績可以到好班，怎還要去差班呢？”“我要唸美術。”我說。她說“你去問第四班的級任老師。”

寫到這裡，我想起電影“我在政府部門的日子”。這不是校長決定的事，反倒成為級任老師的事。我又被遣去別處求救了。

我：Cikgu, aku hendak tukar ke kelas cikgu, sebenarnya aku kena masuk kelas yang kedua.(老師，我要換到您的班上課，其實我本是被分配進第二班的學生。)
Cikgu：Kenapa anda nak masuk kelas ke-empat ni?(為什麼妳要換到第四班呢？)
我：Kerana aku nak teruskan Pendidikan Seni.(因為我要修讀美術科。)
Cikgu：Anda pandai lukis ke? (你很會畫畫嗎？)
我：Masih boleh,aku suka melukis.(還可以，我喜歡畫畫。)

老師很輕鬆答應了我換班的請求。原本應該跟蘇海達同班，後來又分班了。校長說不可以，級任竟然說可以就可以了。真神奇。神奇的事還陸續有來，原來老師是歷史老師，全校凡有記載相關歷史的牆壁、石碑等等的圖畫，都是老師那歷史學會的學生的傑作。

這回我就夠力了。老師給予美化歷史花園和牆壁的任務，我1點多放學後，留校畫畫到6點多才回家，每天如此。接著，道德學會的道德周布條，也關我的事，也要畫布條。中四到中五，畫牆壁、布條也畫了2年。老師物盡其用，哈哈。但也因為她讓我換了方向，所以那2年，我在繪畫中尋找到許多歡樂，偶而藝術學會內畫巴迪布，與顏色共舞是很美好的回憶。

想當年，文字僅僅是我的次選。首選的繪畫，經過我在那2年的研究和探討，我想升學經費是一個問題，最大的問題，還是我的創意有限。反而，文字方面更能天馬行空，所以，最後還是把目標放在語文相關的科系。

來到今天，我知道我做對了選擇。每每完成一頁文章，反覆閱讀內心都充滿感動。我告訴蘇海達，我最後都沒有選擇美術設計，反而選擇了文字。

這一路走來，數不清的阻擾和困惑，我在那黑暗的深淵，因為文字而看見繼續堅持的希望。

Ferris Wheel@Hope.

Hardly to express the feeling of touched when on the top of Ferris Wheel to see the view of the sky in sky blue color, it's just like an expansion view to my own future and life.Uploaded Ferris Wheel picture at the blog header, i feel touched when everytime loging in to the blog,the feeling is cumulate,and the life is more beautiful of this feeling.

I found this picture from google image search engine after i saw the Ferris Wheel in Joyce's blog. I love it when the first time i saw it.It's sunshine is attractive just like a hope in the dark.This is the most touched feeling that i ever felt.

Black is my blog major color,it's dark like a secret but it's my favourite color.And,i feel calm and peace from it,words and story came from here.Black isn't my feeling,the blue,white or shiny color like hope is true color from my heart.And the existing of black make others being colorful and wonderful.

I met Shuhaida last weekend in a shopping center.We were best friend when in the secondary school and we played basketball or volleyball together.However,we didn't contact for so long since graduated.

She asked me “Do you still drawing? Or you are graphic designer now?” Hey, I was shock she still remember that I was insist on art although it’s been a long time.

Recall the past memories.

I was allocated to second class, which is major in science, maths and accounting according to the result when I was Form 4 in secondary school. But, without art. I beseech the principal allow me to change to the fourth class. However, she refused to accept my decision. “What make you made this decision as you can go to the best class?” She asked. I said I want to study art. Finally, she said I have to ask the fourth class teacher’s opinion.

Recall Singaporean movies "Just Follow Law" that I’ve seen before. This is not a decision of the principal, but decision of a class teacher. Weird.

Me: Teacher, allow me to change to your class, actually I allocated to the second class.
Teacher: Why do you want to change to the fourth class?
Me: Because of the art subject.
Teacher: Are you good in drawing?
Me: So so, but I love drawing.

Finally, teacher accepted my request to change class. I should be in same class with Shuhaida before this, but we separated again. However, it’s really weird that principal said no, but class teacher said yes finally. Miracle came in succession. Teacher is teaching history, all the wall or garden’s stone in school, that related to history is painted by her student from history society.

So, teacher gave me a lot of job regarding painting school garden’s stone and walls. I stay at school until 6pm, almost everyday. Moral society’s moral week’s tag I have to paint too. Such live continuous for 2 years. However, I found happiness in this 2 years, and also memories about painting batik in art society etc.

In those years, writing was just my second choice. First choice was drawing, but after the few years I investigated, expenses in study graphic design was a problem, and creativity also a big problem to me. Whereas, I could be powerful and unconstrained in writing, so finally subject about languages – Journalism being my choice and target.

Today, I knew I make a right choice. It’s touch when everytime I finished an article. I told Shuhaida, I didn’t choose graphic design but Journalism at the end.

There was a lot of baffle or difficulties in all this way, I stayed in a dark abysm, but I’ve seen hope when persist in writing.